That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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