you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
