Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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