i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
