i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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