So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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