I showed him my bush... on skype.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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