Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I want you more than these girls want KFC
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
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