whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
