How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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