You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
