How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
