hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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