She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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