Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
