do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
