i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
