do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
