So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
