oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
