Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
