it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
