some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
