What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
