Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
