he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
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