my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
