I hate all girls vehemently.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Blood and glitter go together right?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
