help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
