I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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