It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
