I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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