it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
