it wasn't lemon gatorade
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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