let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
