this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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