debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
