Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
