I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
