Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
