i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
