I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
