I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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