i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
