i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
