I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize