My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
