How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
oh god was she eating orange peels again
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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