I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Dick very happy bro
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
