the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
