He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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